BREAKING NEWS: NPP Splits on How to Self Terminate

NPP Ghana

The National Patriotic Party (NPP), a bungling opposition watching over an incompetent NDC government led by a self declared dead goat will soon erupt into another volcano of deranged panic and confusion, ScrewLife.Com has learnt.

According to our sources within the NPP, a secret executive meeting was held last night chaired by Opana, and the agenda was to find a plausible way via which the party can successfully lose the next general elections—because being in opposition is far easier, credible and better than being in government.

At the meeting, we are told a session of the executives backed by Opana said the best way to remain in opposition is to keep fighting each other—which will keep them busy. Here, their credulous supporters will think they are looking to win the next elections; just that they can’t seem to agree on some internal matters.

The above strategy was rejected by another group, best described as mild sympathisers of Afoko—who said; a working clean strategy would be to incessantly insult the sitting President—and accuse him of ridiculous things such as sleeping with Madam Akua Donkor or paying certain NPP members to raid their own party headquarters.

The two groups of executives could not agree on any of the above plausible strategies which would surely guarantee them another 4 years in opposition—and as such another meeting has been rescheduled.

Apparently, Opana nearly slapped the hell out of an unnamed person—we know for sure it was not Arkaah or Afoko, the former is long gone and the latter was not invited.